| Most infertility specialist’s
prescriptions leave a lot to be desired. Either the medicines
are expensive, the injections painful or the side effects
bothersome. However, there is one prescription in reproductive
medicine which is fun; free and can boost your chances
of conceiving considerably – and that is –
Sex ! Few patients have received a prescription which
just says “ Sex “ on it, but there is no doubt
that having frequent sex is the simplest way of increasing
your chances of conceiving.
While it is true that just frequent sex is not going
to help some couples to conceive ( for example, couples
where the wife’s tubes are blocked or where the
husband’s sperm count is zero ), it is also equally
true that there are few couples who have “absolute
sterility”. Many have multiple minor problems,
the cumulative effect of which is infertility. Let’s
take a couple with a common problem, such as a borderline
low sperm count, or irregular cycles, for example. It
is possible that there a few functional sperm in the
semen sample; or that she occasionally does ovulate.
However, if they have sex infrequently, their chances
of getting pregnant are dismal, because the chances
of the eggs and sperm meeting are reduced even further.
Similarly, many studies have shown that the chances
of conceiving are maximal 6-12 months after fertility
enhancing surgery , such as surgery for correcting endometriosis
; removal of adhesions ( adhesiolysis); or tubal repair
surgery ( tuboplasty). Couples who have sex frequently
after this type of surgery have a better chance of conceiving,
because they are maximizing the probability of the eggs
and sperm meeting.
In fact, even after treatments such as intrauterine
insemination (IUI ) and in vitro fertilization (IVF),
sex has been shown to increase pregnancy rates. The
reasons include the fact that more sperm are being deposited;
and that chemicals called prostglandins in the semen
may increase uterine receptivity to the embryo.
Having sex not only boosts your fertility, it also
has a number of pleasant side effects as well ! Both
lovemaking and orgasm have been shown to boost blood
circulation, improve skin tone, release tension , relieve
arthritic pains and promote psychological health. While
the mechanisms for these benefits are still unclear,
some are simply because of the fact that active sex
can involve a lot of muscular activity, depending upon
your agility and ability in bed ! Another reason could
be the release of chemicals called endorphins (the body's
natural painkillers) from the brain and increased levels
of cortisol ( the stress hormone) during orgasm.
Sex boosts your fitness quotient too. About 30 minutes
of active sex burns 45 calories and provides the equivalent
of a good workout, which means sexercising is a great
way of keeping in shape ! The additional bonus is that
your partner too reaps the benefits, making sex a two-for-the-price-of-one
activity.
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In a book called Sexual Healing, Dr. Paul Pearsall,
Director of Behavioral Medicine at Detroit's Beaumont
Hospital, writes that the joys and pleasures of sex
may provide us with an "intimacy inoculation"
that actually protects us from disease. The science
of psychoneuroimmunology ( mind-body medicine) shows
that when we experience mutually caring sexual intimacy,
hormones such as neuropeptides and cortisol pour through
our body , and help promote health and healing.
So how do you keep the sexual energy alive ? The key
for achieving this is caring: thinking about it and
working at it. Don’t have sex just to have a baby
– have sex to have fun – the baby can be
a pleasant side-effect ! Passionate, exciting love may
"hit" out of the blue, but it remains and
repeats itself only if it is continually nurtured and
treated
as an honoured guest. Remember that the most important
sexual organ is not the penis or the clitoris-it's the
brain. It is best to consider sexuality as an integral
part of life - a gift to be honoured and enjoyed. The
more you learn about this energy, the more of it you
will have and the more you practise it, the better you
will get at
it. Today, many couples living in cities complain that
they are too
"tired" to have sex. It is also true that
sex is often the first casualty
of the ever-increasing stress that we all experience
in our fast-paced
lifestyles. But what is not known is that good sex is
a great stress
buster. It can not only help you to cope better with
stress, it also
increases the body's energy flows. If you find you are
too tired to have
sex at night, a simple solution is to have sex first
thing in the morning
and what helps here is that most men have an "early
morning" erection anyway.
The good news here is that you can learn to improve
your sexual energy. The logic behind this is simple
-- the secrets of tapping sexual energy have been an
integral part of all ancient cultures, including Chinese
(Taoist medicine) and Indian. Tantric sex allows one
to unlock the powers of meditation, breathing and massage
to help celebrate and revitalise a person's love life.
The basic belief here is that the body has a number
of chakras -- or energy centres -- and Tantra teaches
a person certain exercises, which help in sharing this
energy and opening the door to ecstasy. And though earlier
this knowledge was locked up in esoteric texts, it is
now easily accessible on many websites like www.tantra.com.
The Kamasutra is an integral part of our heritage and
from this treatise
of love we can learn to understand the physiology of
yogic ejaculation control, develop the ability to expand
the experience of pleasure and also experience the power
of ritual for enhancing lovemaking.
You can learn more about the effect of infertility
on sexuality in the Chapter, Sexuality and Infertility.
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How to make sex fun
The best way to learn is by watching teenagers - or
remembering your own adolescent days, when you only
had sex on your mind !
Think of new ways of seducing your wife - ask her for
suggestions !
Spend some time and energy in planning sex - anticipation
can heighten desire !
Set a 'date' for sex. Modern lifestyles often mean sex
gets last priority. So hatch a plot with your partner
– book into a hotel for a 'night of sin', away
from deadlines and commitments.
Watch erotic films together - this can help you trigger
off your own
adventures
Experiment with sexual toys such as vibrators , body
oils, and edible panties ( many of which you can buy
online !)
Try sex in the shower ! Not only do you feel clean,
wet and smooth in the bath, water and soap can add magic
to your explorations
Try out “kinky” sex. Erotic sex experiments
are two-person operations and "getting ready"
leads to anticipation and excitement , so that you can
break through the barriers and allow you to perform
beyond your usual sexual limits.
Liquid paraffin is a safe lubricant to use during “baby
making” sex
You can find more suggestions at websites such as www.sexuality.org
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