from
the book How to Have a Baby: Overcoming Infertility
by Dr. Aniruddha Malpani, MD and Dr. Anjali Malpani,
MD.
Previous page:
Infertility and Sexuality
Next page: Myths
and Misconceptions
Table of Contents
Infertility causes great personal suffering
and distress. Most of this is hidden from the public
gaze, and this is why it is still not talked about openly.
The reasons for the lack of public support for the infertile
couple include: the dismal ignorance about the causes
of infertility and its treatment; and the failure of
infertile couples to make their problems (and the solutions
to them) known to the public, because of their low self-esteem
and reluctance to talk about their problems, thus making
this a vicious cycle.
Infertile couples are socially isolated
and emotionally very vulnerable. They need a place where
they can get together and talk to people in the same
boat as themselves, to help them tide over this crisis
in their life. After all, if infertile patients will
not look after their own interests, then who will?
Infertility Friends is India's first
support group for infertile couples. This is a non-profit
registered charitable trust for infertile couples, where
they can get together and discuss their problems. In
order to facilitate this process, the Patient Education
Library has over 30 videos, 50 books and 100 brochures
on infertility, which help patients to learn more about
their problems.
Its mission is to provide compassionate
and informed help to people experiencing the crisis
of infertility ; and to increase visibility about infertility
issues by public education. Its goals include: providing
indepth, reliable medical information which encourages
people to make informed decisions on options and treatment;
encouraging patient self-education resulting in a stronger
doctor-patient relationship; and offering emotional
support services to reduce anxiety and help restore
feelings of control, self-worth and optimism.
How does a support group help
infertile couples ?
How does a support group help ? No one
understands infertility as well as someone who has been
there. However, finding another couple experiencing
the same problem can be difficult. Infertile people
simply have no way of finding one another without help
- and this is where support groups can help. Contact
with other infertile couples is one of the best ways
to break through the isolation and despair of the infertility
experience. You realise that "you are not alone" . By
joining a support group you learn that there are others
who can understand the devastation of a failed cycle
or the jealousy of a friend's pregnancy. The craziness
of scheduled sex, the exhaustion of endless medical
treatments and the agony of family gatherings are all
well known in a support group.
The best help is self-help; and an additional
bonus many people find is that by helping other infertile
couples in their time of need, they learn to help themselves
! Being able to ventilate your feelings and to get emotional
support can be a healing experience.
The internet has also become a very
valuable source of emotional support, and you’ll find
many online communities of infertile couples, who network
with each other, and provide much needed support and
practical information. These cyberspace support groups
allow you to communicate with dozens of other infertile
couples from all over the world ! The Internet provides
a safe cloak of anonymity, so you never need to reveal
your identity. A good example of such a support group,
which uses bulletin boards to allow couples to "talk"
to each other is at http://www.fertilethoughts.net/. You can
post your message online, read about other’s problems
– and offer advise as well !
Unfortunately, misconceptions about
support groups prevent many people from making use of
this valuable help.
Some are concerned that joining might
cause them to dwell even more on the infertility. But
the reality is that infertility can pervade every aspect
of your life and obsession with getting pregnant will
occur whether or not you join a group. Trying to shut
out painful feelings will only make them worse.
Others may feel that infertility is
too private or personal or traumatic to share with a
group of strangers. You may also believe that you should
be able to handle this on your own. In truth, infertility
is too traumatic not to share with others, and there
is nothing wrong or weak about reaching out for help.
A support group simply provides a safe, warm supportive
environment - you need never say a word if you don't
want to.
Another reason for not joining a group
is concern that it promotes a feeling of futility. The
perception may be that a group is only for those who
have hit bottom or are without hope. This is far from
the truth - and in fact, many support group members
have ended up with successful pregnancies thanks to
the information they obtained from the support group's
library.
It's easy to believe that nothing except
a successful pregnancy will make any difference in coping
with infertility - but that's not true. Joining a support
group may be just what you need to find crucial information
or to deal with the devastating feelings that accompany
being infertile. Joining may be frightening - but it's
well worth the risk. You do not have to struggle alone.
INFERTILITY FRIENDS,
59, Bombay Samachar Marg,
Fort, Mumbai – 400 023.
Voice Mail : 9721834
Email : malpani@vsnl.com
Website: http://www.infertilityfriends.org/
Resolve, Inc
1310 Broadway
Somerville, MA 02144-1731. USA.
www.resolve.org
The American Society for Reproductive
Medicine
2140 11th Avenue South, Suite 200
Birmingham, AL 35205-2800. USA.
www.asrm.org
Infertility Federation of Australasia
PO Box 426
Erindale Centre
Wanniassa ACT 2903. Australia.
CHILD - The National Infertility Support
Network
Charter House, 3 St Leonards Road
Bexhill on Sea, East Sussex, TN40 1JA. UK.
www.child.org
ISSUE
114 Lichfield Street
Walsall, West Midlands WS1 1SZ. UK.
www.issue.co.uk
Next page: Myths
and Misconceptions
Previous page:
Infertility and Sexuality
Table of Contents
|
