| One of the most amusing
books I have read on infertility is:
A Few Good Eggs :
Two Chicks Dish on Overcoming the Insanity of
Infertility
by Julie Vargo and Maureen Regan. The book is
targetted towards infertile women living in the US, and
is written in the currently fashionable "chick-lit"
style. It's amusingly written; and is a breath of fresh
air , if you are the sort of person who finds a sense of
humour helps you cope better with infertility.
The book has lots of Top-10 lists, and here's their
list of Top Ten Misconceptions About
Infertility.
# 10 Mis(sed)-Conceptions About Infertility
1. Infertility won't happen to me.
2. I can't be infertile. I already have a baby!
3. I can get pregnant, so I don't have fertility
issues. I just have
miscarriages
4. I'm too young to have fertility issues!
5. My doctor told me I didn't need to see a fertility
specialist until I had three miscarriages.
6. I'm in great shape. I exercise all the time. I can't
be infertile.
7. I'm not infertile. I'm just not having enough sex.
8. You can wait a long time to have a baby.
9. Men can't be infertile. They make sperm all the
time.
10.Normal is a miracle.
Here are my
comments about this list.
1. Infertility won't happen to me.
This is
wishful thinking. The sad fact is that infertility is
quite a common problem. It affects about 1 in 10
couples, so your chances of being infertile are about
10%. Unfortunately, there is no reliable way of being
able to check your fertility ( short of actually getting
pregnant !). There is no symptom or sign or clue which
will tip you off that you may have a problem. This is
why so many couples are "pre-infertile" - they worry (
often needlessly) as to whether they may have problems
conceiving when they fail to get pregnant the first
month they try !
2. I can't be infertile. I already have a baby!
Sorry. As
financial consultants are so fond of reminding us, past
performance is no guarantee of future results ! If you
had a baby in the past, this simply means that you were
fertile then - this is no guarantee that a problem may
not have cropped up in the interim which is causing you
to become infertile now ! This is called secondary
infertility - and is often even more frustrating,
because it is no unexpected.
3. I can get pregnant, so I don't have fertility
issues. I just have miscarriages
An extended
definition of infertility also includes women who have
repeated pregnancy losses ( miscarriages) - women who
cannot carry the pregnancy to term. This is because the
end result in both cases is the same - the inability to
have a baby to love and to hold.
4. I'm too young to have fertility issues!
Unfortunately, infertility does not respect your age !
While it is true that older women have a much higher
chance of being infertile , because they have "older"
eggs, young women can also be infertile for many reasons
- such as damaged tubes.
5. My doctor told me I didn't need to see a fertility
specialist until I had three miscarriages.
A miscarriage
occurs in about 10 % of all pregnancies. Because it is
such a common event, and often occurs for random genetic
reasons which do not recur, most doctors will not
investigate a woman if she has had one miscarriage. Not
only is the testing a waste of time and money, it
provides little useful information. This is why most
doctors will do testing only if you have had 2
miscarriages. However, if you need additional
reassurance after having a miscarriage, please ask your
doctor as to what he can do to help you.
6. I'm in great shape. I exercise all the time. I can't
be infertile.
There is no
relationship between your general health and your
fertility. For example, your fallopian tubes could be
blocked without causing any symptoms or signs - and you
have no way of knowing this, until you get them tested.
7. I'm not infertile. I'm just not having enough sex.
This is a
possibility only if your sexual frequency is less than
once a week. If it's more than this, the chances of your
having sex during your "fertile time" are quite high -
you most probably will "hit the jackpot" at some time
over the course of a year. However, increasing your
sexual frequency is an easy ( and fun !) way of
improving your fertility. Unfortunately, many women use
infrequent sex as a pretext to deny the possibility that
they maybe infertility.
8. You can wait a long time to have a baby.
This is not a good idea,
for two reasons. Firstly, if you have not conceived on
your own in 1 year, the probability of doing so on your
own drops considerably; and the chances of your needing
medical assistance increase. Secondly, fertility drops
as you get older, and there's no point in wasting time
and reducing your chances of success. Everything in life
comes back, except for time. It's a precious ,
non-renewable resource - use it sensibly !
9. Men can't be infertile.
They make sperm all the time.
It is true that men produce
sperm all the time. However, about 10% of men are
infertile, because they produce poor quality sperm. Some
have no sperm in their semen at all - and there is no
way of checking this without doing a semen analysis in
the pathology laboratory.
10.Normal is a miracle.
Actually, this is true (
just slipped it in to make sure you were paying
attention !). Given how much precise synchronisation
needs to be achieved for an embryo to implant in the
uterus to become a baby, every birth is truly an amazing
feat - it's remarkable how the human body achieves this
with such ease for so many couples !
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