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I want to emphasize to patients that if they have opted to take IVF treatment - it's only one of the many choices and options which are open to them.

Building a Family 

Even though I am an IVF specialist, and know that most patients who come to me do so for IVF treatment, whenever I see a new patient, I always emphasize to them that IVF is just one of the options which is available to them for building their family. I explain that no matter what their medical problem is, they always have four options to choose from -

  • 2 nonmedical optionsThe 2 nonmedical options are : child free living ( when they choose to decide not to have a baby ); and adoption
  • 2 medical options - IVF ; or third-party reproductive options ( such as donor eggs or surrogacy). ( Actually, there are 3 more non-medical options I should include for the sake of completeness. These are: continue trying in the bedroom; get remarried; and seek divine intervention , something which I am sure lots of infertile couples do even without my telling them !)‚Äč

When I start discussing options such as child free living or adoption or even using donor eggs , many patients get very upset and distressed . They often complain , " Doctor , you so negative. We have come to you for IVF treatment because we have heard you are a good doctor and have high success rates.

Why are you talking to us about options and alternatives to IVF before we've even started the IVF cycle ? Does this mean you think our chances are poor ? Are you a pessimist ?

The Optimistic Approach 

Actually, the reason I talk about these options is because I am an optimist ! I want to emphasize to patients that they have opted to take IVF treatment - it's only one of the many choices and options which are open to them. They don't need to feel that they're being forced into doing IVF simply because they don't have any other alternatives at all.

Unfortunately, I often find that patients who do IVF usually end up doing so out of a sense of desperation , because they've tried everything else and everything else has failed . They are then so nervous and worried about the IVF outcome , because they don't have a fallback option or a Plan B .

Adding to Stresses 

This increases their stress levels and they find it much harder to cope with the ups and downs of the IVF cycle . If, on the other hand , patients realize that they do have other options available to them, they can approach their treatment much more optimistically, because this is a path which they are selecting for themselves.


Read more- IVF Treatment Failure is not the End of The Road !


The Empowered Patient 

  • They are much more likely to feel empowered and in control of their life and I think this sense of control is good for the patient
  • They approach their IVF treatment much more positively and optimistically
  • Een if the IVF cycle fails, they don't go to pieces
  • Because they have thought about alternative options , it's easier for them to be emotionally resilient and bounce back 

I advise patients - Keep an open mind ! Don't prematurely refuse to consider any option. You should come to IVF from a ;position of strength - not from a position of weakness . If you think you are helpless and that IVF is your only option left , you are likely to be much more vulnerable.

Summary 

I want to emphasize to patients that if they have opted to take IVF treatment - it's only one of the many choices and options which are open to them.

 

 

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