Afternoon
Despatch & Courier,
By PRIYA PARIKH TANNA
For every problem, there is help just around the corner.
Example: Infertility Friends. All you have to do is talk
it out.
Infertility is not just a biological condition.
For a couple gripped by this complication, it is an unsettling
period of affliction and turmoil. A time when psychological
support is as imperative as medication.
Recognising this need led to the inception of Infertility
Friends, the city’s very first support group for
infertility patients. The group was first started in
1992-1993 by fertility experts Dr. Aniruddha and Dr.
Anjali Malpani, but didn’t manage to gather much
momentum than.
It restarted in July 98, when the Malpanis approached
their patient Sandeep Jhunjhunwala and his wife to join
them.
Says Sandeep, “My wife and I were inflicted with
the infertility problem for 14 long years, and we’ve
gone through hell and back. Fortunately, after successful
completion of the treatment, we now have a daughter,
so we felt it was our responsibility to help others
who are going through the trials and tribulations we
did. And even the Malpanis, who have been with us through
our problem, felt that we would be the right people
to get involved in this project. So we decided to get
serious and hold these meetings on a regular basis.”
“Our first step was to chalk out our strategies,
objectives and style of operations,” he continues,
“so what we did first was to print pamphlets and
catalogues explaining our project and intentions, and
circulated it. We then decided upon the frequency of
the meeting and put it down to once a month, to start
with.”
Once word got around, the group started to receive
instant feedback from couples expressing interest (through
their voice mail service).
Sudha (name changed on request) undergoing treatment
for infertility, is also a part of Infertility Friends.
Speaking on its behalf, she says, “When you are
on infertility treatment, you are called in for daily
scans. The stress is so much that it is unimaginable.
Not to mention that treatment is very expensive. I’ve
seen women coming in for the meetings with their husbands.
Their faces always wear an unhappy look and most of
the time they have no one to talk to, as many of them
come from conservative families. And that is where a
system like Infertility Friends helps.”
A media person, Sudha’s problem found its origin
in her work, “The kind of job that I have brings
with it a great deal of stress and that led to polycystic
ovaries (small cysts on the ovaries), which in turn
interfered with my ovulation. I treated this with cauterisation,
a small operation, and all seemed fine. Now what has
happened is that my stress levels are still high, so
my eggs are forming but not rupturing. In short, I am
back to square one.”
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Recalling his trauma, Sandeep says, “Mine was
a case of male infertility, where the sperm count was
absolutely zero. In 1984, when the problem was diagnosed,
there was no real treatment available, so we spent a
lot of time on a wild goose chase, going to quacks and
Ayurvedic doctors. Even with the foreign doctors we
went through many cycles of treatment, of six months
each. And between each cycle there was an interval of
six months each. And each time there would be an unsuccessful
cycle, there would be a lot of depression. It taxed
us physically, financially and mentally. There were
times when we almost gave up and in fact, my wife even
contemplated suicide. With the help of the Malpanis
--- it was during our sixth such cycle --- that my wife
got pregnant. The first thing I would say to couples
having this problem is to stick together through it,
and not to alienate the other person. This is not an
‘his or her’ problem but ‘our’
problem.”
The meetings of Infertility Friends are now held on
the last Saturday of every month at 4 p.m. at the HELP
library, Om Chambers, Kemps Corner. “Through out
voicemail service, we get regular feedback. A week prior
to our meetings, we call up all those listed with us
and invite them to join us. On an average, we have been
attracting 10-15 couples for every meeting; this is
a free service that we are providing.” The meetings
are treated as a ground for all present to discuss their
problems openly and speak about their personal traumas.
The Malpanis disseminate information on the issue and
counsellor Dr. Mehta gives psychological support.
“There is no fixed agenda,” says Sudha,
“we are just getting people to speak openly about
themselves, and believe me, it is a very cathartic experience.
We have had people breaking down at the meetings. And
many a time, people who come to us don’t have
access to much information, so we guide them how to
go about solving their problem. We give them the basic
facts, tell them of the costs and risks involved. Those
at an advanced stage in their treatment, by sharing
their experiences, are indirectly telling the newcomers
what they will go through and how they can deal with
it better. We have a lost of fertility clinics and give
it to all our patients, so they know where to go. In
short, we are the emotional support. When a couple going
through this problem realizes that there are many more
sailing in the same boat, it eases their suffering.
We want them to know that they are not alone.”
Infertility Friends can be contacted
at 266 4412, 265 9835, 495 4644 or 497 6493.
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