Why IVF failure can be so devastating?
The fact that the cycle may fail is the major fear every IVF patient has to confront. An IVF failure can be a major personal devastation for many patients. This is because many infertile couples will treat the failure as a personal failure - when their IVF cycle fails , they blame themselves for the failure.
The fact that the cycle may fail is the major fear every IVF patient has to confront. An IVF failure can be a major personal devastation for many patients. This is because many infertile couples will treat the failure as a personal failure - when their IVF cycle fails , they blame themselves for the failure .
There are multiple reasons for this. Many infertile have self-esteem issues , and think of themselves as being flawed, because their bodies don't work properly, which is why they have not been able to get pregnant in their own bedroom. They start the cycle by carrying a lot of emotional baggage , and the failure just exacerbates these issues .
Also, many patients know that IVF represents their best chance of getting pregnant. When the IVF cycle fails , they go to pieces. "Not only am I not able to have a baby in the bedroom , I cannot even get pregnant after making use of all the advanced medical technology available today".
The media usually features only the IVF success stories. Very little space is devoted to the fact that most IVF cycles fail. This is why a lot of patients have very unrealistic expectations. Sadly , even IVF doctors contribute to this kind of over expectation on the part of patients. Most doctors are optimistic by nature and they do want their patients to get pregnant quickly, which is why they are quite hopeful the cycle will work. Some of this optimism gets conveyed to their patients, who would rather have an upbeat doctor, rather than a realistic doctor. Also , most IVF clinic websites have IVF success stories - no IVF failure stories ! Unfortunately, the failure rate in a single IVF cycle is still more than the success rate !
When a doctor transfers beautiful embryos in the uterus , he is very optimistic that these embryos will implant , even though he knows that it's impossible for him to predict which embryo will become a baby in which patient. However, when the embryo doesn't implant , the patient tends to think - My doctor did everything he possibly could , and made such beautiful embryos in the lab. It must be my uterus which doesn't work , as it has " rejected " the embryo . " This is not true, but this kind of thinking actually ends up making a bad situation even worse , because the patient feels guilty . As it is , she is upset that she is having to spend so much money time and energy on IVF - and when this fails, she feels all this has gone down the drain. She feels that she's let everyone down - her husband, mother, mother-in-law - and the doctor as well , by failing to get pregnant.
Patients need to have realistic expectations and understand that most IVF cycles fail for reasons which are beyond our control, Human reproduction is an inefficient enterprise, whether it's in the bedroom or in the clinic . Patients should not take on the burden of personal responsibility for the failure !
An IVF failure is just that - just a failure of an IVF cycle. It does mean that the patient herself is a failure - or even that she has failed ! Don't let your self-esteem take a beating just because the IVF cycle has failed ! As Scarlett O'Hara said in Gone with the Wind, Tomorrow is another day !