Most infertile couples turn to IVF as their last shot at having a baby of their own. In most instances they have tried everything in the book and outside it, to get pregnant and have failed.  When they choose to do IVF, they put all their expectations and hopes into it and this can be a major stress point  for them.  In case this too doesn’t work for them and they are still keen on adding a baby to their family, the doctor will recommend they consider adopting one

This  topic is one that most couples don’t consider, no matter how keen they are  o having a child. If the doctor has provide this information even before they start on IVF, they feel  that the doctor also thinks there are no chances of IVF success  for them.  This annoys and frustrates them and they get irritated with the doctor and feel he is being insensitive and that he doesn’t understand his feelings.

An unbiased look

Very few patients look at a adoption with an open mind-frame and they feel  its something they would not be able to consider at all. They feel that when they explore this option, it automatically means they have failed. This is incorrect and comparing an option like IVF with another one like adoption and then downgrading the latter is not really helpful to them at all.

I always tell patients that it’s important to discuss these options alongside their IVF treatment. With a Plan B in place, they are able to go through their IVF cycle with peace of mind.  IVF is about having your biological child, but adoption is a good option when IVF doesn’t work for you.  It’s never like one option is better or worse than the other. Judge both the options in an unbiased manner and then choose one that suits you best.

Benefits of being objective about Adoption

When you explore the adoption option even before you come into our clinic for IVF, it gives you the ability to do IVF in a much calmer way. Apart from this, there are some distinct benefits to adoption such as:

  • You might just realize that adoption is a much better option for you
  • Most patients who opt for IVF have actually been through a number of treatments and tests and are fed up with it all and adoption is the one way to put an end to all that agony and get a baby into their lives
  • Some patients contemplate on this issue and then decide that adoption isn’t for them. This gives them the impetus to put all their efforts into their IVF treatment

Patients need to keep in view that IVF and adoption aren’t really competitive methods and they both have their merits and downsides. Your IVF specialist can give you a complete rundown on the procedure and this can help you make up your mind in a better way. You can still register your name at an adoption agency before your IVF treatment. In case your IVF cycle is successful, you can then take your name off the adoption list. The bottom line is that you should explore both these options with an open mind.

Not happy with the attention you are getting from your IVF clinic? Need more information? Please send me your medical details by filling in the form at www.drmalpani.com/free-second-opinion so that I can guide you!

Authored by : Dr Aniruddha Malpani, MD and reviewed by Dr Anjali Malpani.

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