Fertile couples don’t find it a challenge to make a baby in their bedrooms and most people just tend to take their reproductive ability for granted. They just presume that when they are ready to have a baby, they will have one. So, why exactly do people feel they want to have babies in the first place? Not many take the time or care to analyze what their motives are; this is because the babies are generally a result of pleasurable moments spent in their bedrooms.

Most people simply follow their natural biological urges that are spurred on by their genes. Some people are just happy to grow their families while other bow down to social and family pressure and end up having children, because that’s what people around them expect them to do. But what about the few who wonder exactly why they want to have a baby? There could be a number of reasons:

  • Some people want to carry forth their family name, as it’s what their religion professes
  • Some have a lot of ancestral property and they want to have heirs who they can pass this wealth on to
  • Some are very proud of their genes and feel the world needs to have someone with those unique genes, on the planet. For these people the major desire is their urge to propagate their DNA.

In days gone by, the primary role of the woman was to have babies. Women who were unable to bear children were treated as outcasts. Only when she gave birth to a child was the woman considered to be a productive member of society. Though this was a very common attitude in the past, it’s not really easy to get rid of primitive beliefs and this continues to hold true in many parts of the world even today.

For these women, one of the main reasons they want to have baby is to ensure that they aren’t considered to be 2nd class citizens; their desire is to become a respected member of the society they live in. Only very few people actually have a baby because they genuinely love children and they want to experience the pleasure of giving birth to and nurturing their own child.

Unfortunately for infertile couples, regardless of what the reason for having a baby is, they find it very difficult to have one in the first place. Some couples who are infertile aren’t open to using donor sperm and eggs and many won’t opt for surrogacy either. On the other hand, some patients aren’t too bothered about propagating their DNA and they only want to experience the pure pleasure of having a baby; they are also open to the option of using donor eggs or donor sperm in their IVF treatment. The minute you are more open to considering different options, the easier it will be for you to have a baby.

If you have been trying unsuccessfully to have a baby and aren’t too sure about how you would like to proceed; it’s important that you have an open and candid discussion with your partner and understand what his/her primary goals & motives of having a baby are. Having this discussion is an important step, as sometimes the partners don’t see eye-to-eye and things can go sour later; this is something you want to avoid.

Not happy with the attention you are getting from your IVF clinic? Need more information? Please send me your medical details by filling in the form at www.drmalpani.com/free-second-opinion so that I can guide you!

Authored by : Dr Aniruddha Malpani, MD and reviewed by Dr Anjali Malpani.

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