natural to feel disappointed, sad and angry, because you are now back to square
one even after spending all that time, money and energy ! And what happened
to all the reassurances which the doctor offered, saying your embryos were
perfect and that you were definitely going to get pregnant ? Was it all just
a lie ?
a break and give yourself time to grieve and recover ! The truth is that many
women who have had a failed IVF cycle will be successful on a second or even a
third cycle. While success can never be guaranteed, some of the problems which
were discovered during the IVF treatment can be corrected , to help make the
next cycle more successful.
This is why
you want your doctor to be able to tell you exactly what went wrong, so you can
fix it and have a baby in your next attempt. Unfortunately, this is surprisingly
hard to do, simply because there are so many biological variables in an IVF treatment
cycle, that it's not always possible to pinpoint what the exact problem was.
Not only is
every patient unique, the problem is that IVF cycles in the same patient will also
vary from one month to another. This is why its very difficult to extrapolate
based on the results of just one cycle. However, patients don't understand that
biological systems are messy, that we don't have the same kind of accuracy and
precision which we do when dealing with computer programs and bank accounts.
case, far more important than asking, "Why did the cycle fail?", a
far better quality question is, "What did we learn from this cycle?"
And even more importantly, "What can we do differently in the next cycle
to maximize our chance of getting pregnant?"
is that if you ask good questions, you're likely to get good answers ! And
because IVF technology has improved somuch, even if we cant always identify problems, we are surprisingly
good at finding solutions by bypassing problems in the IVF lab !