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Ever since I was a young girl, I knew I was extremely lucky in every path that I walked - parents, schooling, childhood, education, money, family, marriage…everything was just so perfect….till the point when suddenly I found out I wasn't being able to get pregnant. That's when I started feeling unlucky….It was the time when I started believing God doesn’t give everything to everyone…
There were only coping mechanisms which I could think of - leave it or live with it…Leaving it was more difficult than living it. People around you don’t let that happen. Every function that you attend, people wouldn’t care how well I was doing in my life - they were concerned - or pretended to be concerned - about me having a baby. Special thanks to the great Indian mentality of interference and giving opinions even if they are not asked for. It was painful for me to attend naming ceremonies, birthdays of friends’ kids and walking in there without a kid. Especially when I had seen friends doing abortions for whatsoever reasons, I used to get highly upset. It was very easy for them to end a pregnancy and they never knew how hard some people have to try to just start a pregnancy. But everyone owns their life and all I had to do was own mine and take some steps.
Being educated and well aware of medical advancements and our poor lifestyle leading to stressful life, we never were embarrassed to go to the infertility doctors. Checking our reports, they said everything looks normal except for my low AMH levels. We had lots of tests, hysteroscopy etc. as a part of the preparation. One of those very renowned doctors told us to attend his lectures if we wanted answers to our queries, as he was too busy to answer them one on one. It was my last day in that clinic.
Another doctor didn’t have time for anything - only a few minutes which they could give us - and everything was handled by her juniors. We underwent 1 IUI and 2 IVF cycles out of which one was successful but ended around 8 weeks. The amount of medicines and injections that I had to take was horrendous. The worst part hit us when the doctor refused to attend our calls when we were so paranoid and panicked as we were losing our baby.
We had tried 3 different doctors in this field, who were supposed to be top-notch, and we felt we were being treated as a widget in a factory. It seemed to be an assembly line approach, with no human touch. I should say it was a BUSINESS in true sense with only commercial approach. I agree it’s their means of living but for god’s sake they were handling the feelings of emotionally fragile people. To do IVF, one has gone through a lot , and is already very vulnerable - I wish they understand this. And I gave up , both emotionally and physically.
Taking a foreign posting was one of the major reasons to go away from all this. In office abroad, when I said I don’t have a kid, the reaction was usually one of sympathy. No one tried to pry into our personal life, and this was such a great blessing . However, away from home, and away from family, the emptiness started hurting more. All thoughts started coming to me including adoption, surrogacy and many more.
And one day I was travelling in train and vaguely remembered our family doctor referring to Dr Malpani to my parents as they were discussing about we not having a baby yet. All I remembered was Dr Malpani and Colaba. I immediately googled it and started reading his website. The first thing which I remember clearly was second opinion. I found that so interesting and all the information on website was so helpful. I decided to send an email and before even I could imagine I got a reply from the doctor himself. This was the first positive vibes I got and I felt very touched. We took his appointment and the first meeting itself was so positive and assuring. I never met such a doctor who speaks so nicely, to the point and is not tired of responding your questions. We had done our earlier IVFs with my own eggs though AMH levels were low. We discussed this with the doctor and egg donor option was discussed. I know it is a big step but at least one of the genes will be of your partner and you can feel the motherhood has much more positive points as compared to when you will go for an adoption. It was my fight with my mind but one needs to be practical in life.
The entire process was seamless and support of the staff is remarkable and we felt like a family. It was beyond the expectations on how you would like to get treated especially when you are on an emotional roller coaster. From reception to the OT, all were just so nice to us. Even after the procedure, every email was answered immediately. This proves that this is much more than just a medical treatment for the clinic . I cannot thank Doctor Malpani and his team enough for making the process so satisfying and making our dreams come true…..
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