Finding a surrogate mother is never a cinch. In fact, it can be more nerve wracking for couples than to come to terms with their infertility. For most couples who are thinking of turning to surrogacy it is important to understand that there is no magic mantra or formula for going through this process.
This is a challenge – and one which you will have to face along with your partner. Thankfully, fertility clinics can help you along the way and take some of the tedium out of the process. However, there are things you will have to do on your own – the first of them being identifying a good fertility clinic.
So, how to find a surrogate?
- Find a fertility clinic – Though you set out looking for a surrogate, the first step in your journey will be to find a fertility clinic you would like to go to. When you do locate a surrogate, there is still the matter of doing the IVF in order to transfer your embryos into the surrogate. So this should be your priority. Lots of fertility clinics will help to arrange a surrogate for you. This would be absolutely wonderful, as you would be able to have your cake and eat it too
- Choosing a surrogate – Your clinic will most likely show you a couple of profiles or potential surrogates, and you can choose the one you like from among them.
- Determine what kind of surrogacy you want – Most couples decide on having a gestational surrogate, who will only be carrying their child, but will not be biologically related to it. However, if the female partner has low quality eggs, you may need to consider donor egg surrogacy. Please discuss your options with your doctor.
Do you want to use frozen embryos from before, or do you want to have a new round of IVF? Would the eggs be used from the female partner, or would a donor be asked for them?
- Legal issues – After dealing with how to find a surrogate, you have to deal with the legal issues too. Sorting out these legal issues is not everyone's cup of tea. However, this is something you must do. Fortunately, your fertility clinic will help you here too. They have the experience and can rope in legal partners who have the expertise in drafting surrogacy agreements .
How to find a surrogate is an important question that couples grappling with the idea of surrogacy have to deal with. Finding a reliable IVF clinic which offers surrogacy is your first step i this journey.