When an IVF cycle fails, it’s obvious that the patient will be very upset & angry- they just want to vent their frustration on someone and the most common targets are:

  • They themselves- and they will curse their fate
  • God- because he didn’t give them a baby
  • Spouse- because they didn’t receive support from him (maybe because he didn’t agree to do IVF when she was younger)
  • Doctor – who becomes an easy target

There are a number of reasons why patients get angry with their doctors when their IVF cycle fails. Some of these reasons are to do with the patient, while the others are on account of the doctor. When doctors sign up patients for this treatment, many of them tend to be overoptimistic and they are only focused on “selling” the treatment to the patients.

They go overboard and promise patients the earth and the moon; they talk at length and in a convincing manner about their success rates and about their state-of-the-art facilities etc. While they are doing all of this and talking about how high their success rates are they simply fail to mention that an IVF cycle can fail too. Some patients have very high expectations and they get extremely upset when their IVF cycle fails.

What’s even worse is that when an IVF cycle fails, many doctors also become unavailable. They are very well aware that the patient will be upset and they just don’t fancy dealing with angry patients.  Patients get fobbed off to assistants and the former feel abandoned. They feel cheated and believe that the doctor did the treatment only because he wanted the money.

Give it your best shot

However, it’s crucial that patients also do their homework and be more well-informed and of course, have realistic expectations of the treatment. Though the doctor may ensure that the embryos are made carefully and transferred as they should be, what happens inside the uterus is something he has zero control over. Embryo implantation is a biological process that can’t really be controlled by the doctor

This entire situation sometimes gets completely out of hand and some patients also vent their anger online- which damages the doctor’s reputation even though he may be very good at his job. This is why every patient should try to choose a doctor who is reliable, transparent as well as accountable about the treatment he offers. As long as you maintain realistic expectations, you will have the peace of mind that you gave it your best shot.

Not happy with the attention you are getting from your IVF clinic? Need more information? Please send me your medical details by filling in the form at www.drmalpani.com/free-second-opinion so that I can guide you!

Authored by : Dr Aniruddha Malpani, MD and reviewed by Dr Anjali Malpani.

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