IVF Doctors Are Experts, Not Miracle Workers: Understanding the Realities of Treatment
Patient: Dr Malpani, I really appreciate how honest and straightforward you are. But I’m still scared. I want a baby so badly, and I just want to know an answer to this simple question : will this IVF cycle work for me?
Dr. Malpani: I completely understand your anxiety. And I'm glad you asked, because this is something I talk about with all my patients. Let me start by sharing what I always tell my patients during consultations: I may be a very good IVF doctor — skilled, empathetic, and transparent — but I’m not God, I’m not a fortune teller, and I’m definitely not a mind reader.
Patient: That’s a very honest disclaimer! But what do you mean by that?
Dr. Malpani: Let me break it down.
First — I’m not God. If I were, I’d have already given you your baby in your bedroom. You wouldn’t need IVF or me at all! The truth is, there’s a big difference between being a good doctor and being God. As doctors, we use science, experience, and compassion to help our patients — but we don’t control outcomes. And patients need to accept this reality too. This is also why good doctors are humble. We know that despite doing everything right, we still can’t guarantee success. Medicine is not magic.
Patient: That makes sense. I guess we all want certainty, but life doesn’t work that way.
Dr. Malpani: Exactly. And that brings me to the second thing: I’m not a fortune teller. I can make high-quality embryos in the lab — that’s my job. But once I transfer the embryo back into the uterus, what happens next is out of my hands. Implantation remains a black box. Despite all our technological advances, we simply don’t have the tools to predict or control whether that embryo will implant.
Patient: But what about success rates? Don’t you have data for that?
Dr. Malpani: Yes, and this is where a lot of confusion arises. I can tell you our clinic’s success rates for groups of patients. That’s useful for giving you a general sense of how we perform. But you’re not a statistic. You’re an individual. And for any one patient in a single IVF cycle, the success rate is binary — either it works (100%) or it doesn’t (0%).
Patient: That’s such a clear way to put it.
Dr. Malpani: And it’s important because I know patients don’t care about the other 99 patients in our clinic — they care about their outcome. This is why I encourage all my patients to be patient, to have realistic expectations, and to understand that IVF is often a process. It can take time.
This is also why I often recommend embryo pooling, especially for patients who are poor responders. By creating and freezing multiple embryos over several cycles, we increase the odds of success. It’s a strategy based on realism, not wishful thinking.
Patient: And what about the mind-reading part?
Dr. Malpani: Ah, yes. The third thing I say: I’m not a mind reader. This might sound obvious, but many patients assume that we doctors can, or should, tell them what’s right for them. But every patient is different. IVF is not just a medical journey — it’s an emotional and personal one.
Patient: I suppose that’s true. I’ve been going back and forth about donor eggs, for example, and it’s such a tough decision.
Dr. Malpani: And that’s exactly my point. Some patients may choose to repeat a cycle with their own eggs. Others may explore third-party reproduction. Some may consider adoption or even decide to stop treatment altogether. These are deeply personal choices. My job is to lay out the options, explain the pros and cons, and support you in making the decision that’s right for you.
Patient: So the ball is always in my court?
Dr. Malpani: It has to be. You’re the one who will live with the consequences of your decisions, emotionally and financially. That’s why patient autonomy is so important. You don’t need a doctor who dictates what to do. You need a doctor who listens, informs, and empowers.
Patient: This is really helpful. I feel less pressured and more in control.
Dr. Malpani: That’s how it should be. My goal is to give you both medical excellence and emotional clarity. Because IVF isn’t just about making embryos — it’s about making informed, compassionate decisions that align with your values and goals.