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There is no doubt that IVF can be an extremely stressful experience , and all the suspense , waiting and uncertainty can drive you crazy , because you can never be sure whether the cycle is going to work or not.

When the cycle fails, you dont know what you need to change in order to achieve success, so both you and your doctor are often groping in the dark.

The treatment is expensive and intrusive , and can eat up a lot of your peace of mind .

The problem with infertility is it never just a personal medical problem. It has social and emotional overtones, and starts affecting your relationships with many people , as a result of which the quest for a baby starts consuming you , and your dream to get pregnant starts becoming an obsession.

Its normal to grapple for answers , and to look for certainty , but reality is that this just doesn't exist in the IVF process.

This can be both humbling and infuriating, because IVF failure is often the first time in their life that these young adults have had to deal with failure . Its their first brush with their own mortality , because they realise that not everything is in their control , and just that being wealthy and throwing a lot of money at the problem, or going to the best doctor , doesn't mean that your problem will get solved.

This can be scary , and can cause both nightmares and sleepless nights.

While the final outcome will never be in our control, one simple free tool which can help is meditation. Learning to be mindfully aware can be very helpful , because it allows you to step outside your own skin, and appreciate that suffering is universal .

You can actually use this journey it to transmute yourself , and become a better person . You know that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger , and many infertile couples end up becoming better people , irrespective of whether they get a baby or not , because when they suffer themselves , they learn to be the more empathetic , and they can appreciate someone else's pain better .

Yes, it can be a difficult ride , but when life gives you lemons , sometimes all you can do is drink the lemonade rather than continue feeling sorry for yourself , because that really doesn't help anyone at all, and just makes a bad situation even worse

Source : https://blog.drmalpani.com/2021/03/why-all-ivf-patients-need-to-learn.html
Authored by : Dr Aniruddha Malpani, MD and reviewed by Dr Anjali Malpani.
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