For most IVF doctors and patients , failure is a taboo word.
It's something which no one wants to talk about, because everyone wants to discuss only the chances of success. This is obviously far easier to do and much more pleasant, but I don't think evading hard issues really makes a lot of sense. I think it's always important to protect your downside before considering the upside.
Not only is this far more sensible, it helps you create a safety net. Being prepared for the worst improves your emotional resilience and ensures that you don't go to pieces in case your cycle fails. Some patients think their world will end if their IVF cycles fails. However, the truth is that life continues even after IVF failure .
If you fail to prepare for failure, and put all of your eggs in one basket (pardon the pun), then if that cycle does fail, you're likely to be so emotionally devastated that you may just give up completely and refuse to do another cycle. Ironically, repeating the IVF cycle
would actually be your best option, but because you were not emotionally prepared for failure, you deprive yourself of your best chance of having a baby . You cannot afford to go to pieces just because the cycle fails.
The good thing about planning for the worst case scenario in IVF is that there is no medical risk to IVF failure - the failure will not damage your ovarian reserve, increase your risk of cancer, or harm your physical health . The risk is predominantly financial and emotional , and because these can be anticipated , you can plan for them.
You need to know exactly how much you are going to have to spend; and how much you are willing to spend in your pursuit of a baby. If there are limitations , you need to think of creative solutions so you can work around these. For example, you can talk to your doctor , and ask for a discount, or opt for shared risk program which reduce your financial risk.
Exactly the same reasoning applies to the emotional risk of failure as well . Rather than start catastrophising if the cycle fails, or sugar coating everything by assuming that your cycle will succeed, you need to be hard headed and realistic enough to accept the fact that it may fail.
You need to put the IVF treatment
in the right perspective. It's not an emergency treatment, and you can take your time until you are mentally and physically prepared to go through an IVF cycle. Even if the cycle fails , you will always have peace of mind you did your best, if you do your homework and make a well informed decision.
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