Being the Best Partner: How to emotionally support your wife during IVF treatment
Patient: Dr. Malpani, my husband feels really guilty that I have to go through all these injections and procedures for IVF. Is that common?
Dr. Malpani: Yes, it’s very common, especially when male factor infertility is the reason for IVF. Many husbands feel helpless because their wives are the ones taking all the injections, undergoing scans, and going through egg retrieval.
Patient: He keeps asking me how he can support me. What should I tell him?
Dr. Malpani: That’s great that he wants to help! The most important thing he can do is provide emotional support. He can’t take away your discomfort, but he can be there for you, reassure you, and make you feel loved no matter what the outcome.
Patient: How can he be more involved in the process?
Dr. Malpani: He should educate himself about IVF—how much is in your control, how much is in the doctor’s control, and how much is simply in nature’s hands? That way, he’ll understand what you're going through and be able to support you better.
Patient: What should he avoid doing?
Dr. Malpani: He shouldn’t be clueless or leave everything to you. IVF is a shared journey, not just the wife’s responsibility. He also shouldn’t rely too much on Google or act like a "half doctor."
Patient: Should he make decisions for me?
Dr. Malpani: No, the final decisions should be yours because you are the one undergoing the treatment. His role is to support you, not control the process.
Patient: He sometimes feels anxious and unsure. How can we handle that?
Dr. Malpani: Acknowledge that uncertainty is natural. The best way to reduce anxiety is by gathering the right information and finding a doctor you both trust.
Patient: What if the treatment doesn’t work?
Dr. Malpani: The outcome isn’t in anyone’s control, but the journey should be a positive one. He should remind you that no matter what happens, he is there for you.
Patient: That’s very reassuring. Thank you, Dr. Malpani!
Dr. Malpani: Absolutely! Too many patients blindly follow their doctors without understanding the difference between IUI and IVF. Be informed, make a plan, and don’t waste time on ineffective treatments!